I may have a lead on a job with a commercial insurance company so keep your fingers crossed for me please.

I was left alone all night in my department and did pretty well.  The computer/register isn’t that hard to learn and I was able to handle every situation that came my way.

I was given a questionnaire to fill out, they wanted to know if I had any interest in working there after the holidays.  I said yes but I had to give them a schedule of my availability and I am not sure if it will fit into their needs.  I’m hoping it does because I need the JOB bad.  I’d bust my ass and become their biggest selling salesperson in record time.

I’ll write more tomorrow after working 11 hours, tomorrow is going to suck bug time.  My feet are going to hurt from about lunch time on and they just might try to “overthrow” me in a coup.

I guess I’ll keep hitting the job boards hard, I let up for about a week but starting tomorrow, I’ll plug away again.

Today I worked 3:30pm to 11:20pm.  I had an hour break and I spent it at the food court of all places.  The mall was packed so I hope that all the stores did well today.  My feet are killing me!!!!  Standing for all those hours hurts like a m@#$%& fu$%(#!!!!

photo courtesy of flickr user liewcf

For those that don’t know, I am a father of two and a husband.  I’ve been basically unemployed for the past 18 months…I am a mortgage broker.  I’m in debt over $40,000 and have begun to default on my credit card bills.  For now, it’s only 1 card in arrears but after Dec it will be three.  I can’t pay them and I am sick to my stomach because of it.

My family is using my wife’s income to pay for all the necessities of life but her paycheck barely covers those bills, leaving no room for anything else.  I’ve been applying to jobs that I would have taken out of high school, jobs that pay a little above minimum wage and I still can’t get hired.  The economy sucks and it’s easy to blame this person or that person but this is my reality.  I am a good person who made one crappy decision 7 years ago.  I should have stayed in the job I had and sucked it up.

Photo courtesy of Flickr user Kevin H.

I made the decision to change jobs after the birth of my first son.  I wasn’t seeing much of him because I had to work 6 days a week.  I worked almost 11 hours per day and I had missed many of “the firsts” things in his life.  Missing these “firsts” made me want to change jobs.  I was also swayed by the potential to make better money while working less hours.  The reality is that I had to work nearly as many and I made 1/3 rd the pay for the first 2 years.  No one, Realtors, small business owners, CPA’s, investment advisors, etc not a single referral source was going to refer me to a client when I had no experience in mortgages.  That was the first sign of my struggles and I should have seen the writing on the wall.  I didn’t and I wanted to be there for my son and family and make it work.  Who could blame me???

Here I am 7 years later and about $25,000 less in savings, $40,000 in debt and no where to turn to.  I’m about to explode although I actually feel a little better by writing about it.  Thanks for allowing me to get this off my chest.

I hope things are sunnier where you are.

photo courtesy of picasa user Ann

Today I took the youngest to school as always but we went an hour hour early  to visit his book fair.  No big deal but it took the ladies 20 minutes to figure out how to use the credit card/atm scanner and the line was backed up to Egypt!!!

Afterwards, I had to get the oil changed in the wife’s minivan, then on to Home Depot to see if they had any sod.  I need sod because I don’t want to HOA to down my ass with a violation letter.  While at Home Depot, I noticed a sale on some plants that I wanted to I bought 10 and spent $20 on them.  I installed 8 and then the phone rang, it was my youngest son’s school calling.  He ate something and then vomited.  I needed to go and pick him up.

I don’t think he’s sick, I think he ate something that didn’t agree with him.  He is allergic to numerous foods.  He seems fine, I checked his temperature and he didn’t have a fever, his appetite is fine so….

On the job side of things, I am still waiting for Macy’s to call me back.  I sat through a full day of orientation and they said they would call early this week.  I checked online through their portal and found myself in the computer but there wasn’t a schedule made out for me.  I’ll give them till about 4pm today and then call to see what’s up.

How are things in your world?

Photo courtesy of Flickr user uzvards

I’m stuck in a dilemma…I have only so much money and more bills to pay then the money I have.  The easy one to decide is the power bill, I need power so it gets paid.  I can pay one or two little bills, like the home phone which has been temporarily suspended, I can keep my home number and pay a few dollars a month until I decide to have the phone hooked up again.

I like the idea of keeping my home number, I’ve had it over 10 years so it was a no brainer to get that service from the telephone company.

I’ve got to keep money for food for the family which means that one credit card doesn’t get paid on time this month but I am forced into this situation.  I truly hate it.  I wish the damn job market would open up so I could get a job that paid halfway decent.  Decent enough to pay all my bills on time.

I’ll just continue to look for employment and hope that jobs come about for everyone.  This shit is really starting to get to me though.  I sometimes lay awake at night wondering what my financial future holds for myself and my family…my kids and wife son’t deserve this shit.  If it were just me, I’d be ok with it.  I am here to provide for them and I can’t do it!!!  UGH!!!

Photo courtesy of fotopedia user Edgar Muller

I’m almost reserved to waiting for the new year to come, maybe that will offer a new beginning for us all.  Let’s all hope it does.  I was really hoping that the new president would have gotten us on better footing by now but it seems that he is just like the rest, he blew smoke up our asses.  It’s all smoke and mirrors.

Photo courtesy of Joel's Picasa Web Album

Basically, I went fishing with my youngest son.  We go to a little pond that is stocked with Large Mouth Bass/Small Mouth Bass, Red Belly Perch, and some Bluegills.  We use live worms mostly although I am trying out some fake worms and a brown lizard.  I had one Large Mouth Bass strike on the lizard, he was measured at 16inches and probably weighed 4-6 lbs.

My son caught a Small Mouth Bass and the Red Belly Perch along with a handful of Bluegills.  He loves fishing and everything outdoors.  He is destined for a life with the Fish and Game Division!!! He isn’t shy about handling the live worms, he doesn’t quite know how to attach them to the hook but that will come soon enough. He wants to start using lures but I don’t think he is quite ready for them. Maybe next summer.

We also celebrated his end of the season soccer team party. He had a blast with all his teammates. He has gotten a lot better over the last three soccer seasons, especially this past one. He is much more aware of his surroundings and is better and defense.

As you can see, I had a nice weekend, I hope you did as well. Let me know what you did by leaving me a comment below.

I get some damn mad at myself that I become this person who I hate and my wife and  kids don’t like either!  They really shouldn’t be the whipping sticks, they deserve better and that is why I am going to do everything possible to get a damn full time job that pays a decent amount and that won’t disrupt the family life too much.

I know what people may be saying right now as they read this, disrupting the family isn’t going to make things hard on the kids, they will survive.  I agree, I not going to debate that fact.   The kids will survive and be fine.  It’s me that doesn’t want the disruption to their lives.

When the hell is the economy and the job market going to turn around!?!?

I’ve got to pay some bills (with what little money I have) and do some laundry.  I’ve also got to go grocery shopping.

Photo courtesy of Flickr user Urban Data

I had to take a 401k withdrawal and that money comes in tomorrow, I wonder how painful my taxes are going to be this year?!  The President should do something for people (like me) that have really hit hard times and been forced to take 401K withdrawals just to eat and pay the bills.  I am not buying LED TV’s or anything for myself for that matter.  I am using the money to pay bills and live while I look for a job every day.
I sit and wonder why this stuff is happening to me but I know I am not alone, although this doesn’t make it sting any less.  The lack of control of my future make me angry at times, I wish I could control it better.  I’n sure that the temporary job at Macy’s will help which is a welcome relief.

Photo courtesy of Flickr user DieselDemon

Maybe this job will lead to another opportunity, I need to take advantage of everything this offers!  I’m going into this (potential) job with optimism and a sense of newness.  I guess you could say I am going into this potential temporary job with a sense of HOPE.

Till my next post, stay positive…something will change for the better!

Totally random here but the show Damages on FX rocks!!!